Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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