Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
