it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
