I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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