THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Quick, to the slutcave!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize