I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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