i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
