after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
