Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize