if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
