Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
