I hope mine doesn't look like that
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
