office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i believe in u and ur pee
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