no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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