I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
