I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
