Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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