This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
