I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
