Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
