I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You may now shotgun with the bride
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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