I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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