I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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