dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
