Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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