I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
