Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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