yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
