don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just want nice things and good sex
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
