I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
