I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
