If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
