As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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