i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
