That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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