We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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