I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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