its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
North Korea, Best Korea!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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