I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize