wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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