RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
