Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
