Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
ttyl tear gas
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
