Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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