why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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