found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
