he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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