YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize