I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
