yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
BRING THE BAGELS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
