How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
