I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
