allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just pee around me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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