Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
