I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
