If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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