we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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