Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
