So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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