I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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