There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
