remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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