omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
