Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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