I showed him my bush... on skype.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
