Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
