my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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