the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
