She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
