since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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