we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
